Unraveling the Mystery: Why Do I Always Want Men Who Are Taken or Not Available?”


The heart can be a mysterious place, and when it comes to matters of attraction, it’s not always easy to control who we’re drawn to. If you find yourself consistently attracted to men who are taken or not available, you’re not alone. Many people grapple with this pattern of desire, and there are various psychological and emotional factors at play. In this article, we’ll explore the reasons behind this common phenomenon and offer insights on how to navigate these complex feelings.

Here’s What It Means If You’re Constantly Attracted To People Who Are Off Limits”

Attraction is a complex and multifaceted phenomenon that can sometimes lead us down intriguing and challenging paths. If you find yourself consistently drawn to individuals who are “off-limits,” such as those who are already in relationships or unavailable for other reasons, you may be left wondering what this pattern means.


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Being constantly attracted to individuals who are off-limits can be a complex and challenging pattern to break. However, understanding the underlying reasons behind this attraction is a crucial step toward change. Through self-reflection, self-love, and potentially seeking professional support, you can shift your romantic preferences towards individuals who are emotionally available and capable of forming meaningful, fulfilling connections.

Remember that you deserve a loving, respectful, and mutually satisfying relationship that aligns with your values and desires.

1. The Forbidden Fruit Syndrome:

One of the primary reasons you might be drawn to men who are taken is the allure of the forbidden fruit. The idea of pursuing someone you’re not supposed to can be exciting and exhilarating. This can create an emotional rollercoaster that some people find appealing.

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2. Emotional Unavailability:

If you often find yourself attracted to emotionally distant or unavailable men, it could be a reflection of your own emotional landscape. You might subconsciously seek out relationships that mirror your own emotional unavailability or fear of intimacy.


3. Fear of Commitment:

A pattern of desiring men who are not available may also indicate a fear of commitment. By pursuing someone who’s already committed elsewhere, you can avoid the pressures and responsibilities of a committed relationship.

4. Low Self-Esteem:

Low self-esteem can lead to seeking validation from others. Men who are taken may seem more appealing because they appear to be in high demand, and winning their affection can temporarily boost your self-esteem.

5. Fantasy vs. Reality:

Attraction to unavailable men can sometimes be rooted in fantasy. You may be drawn to the idea of a perfect, unattainable romance rather than the complexities of a real relationship.

6. Unresolved Past Experiences:

Past relationships or childhood experiences can influence your romantic preferences. If you’ve had unfulfilling relationships or abandonment issues in the past, you might be drawn to unavailable men as a way of replaying or attempting to resolve these experiences.


7. Self-Sabotage:

Some individuals engage in self-sabotaging behaviors when it comes to love. Attracting unavailable partners can be a way of setting up relationships for failure, possibly due to a fear of vulnerability or getting hurt.

8. Lack of Self-Love:

A lack of self-love and self-worth can lead to seeking love and validation from external sources. Attracted to unavailable men may be an indicator that you’re not fully embracing self-love and self-acceptance.

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Breaking the Pattern:

Recognizing and addressing this pattern is the first step in breaking it. Consider the following strategies:

Self-Reflection: Take time to explore your feelings and past experiences that may be contributing to your attraction to unavailable men.

Therapy: Seeking the guidance of a therapist or counselor can help you understand and address the underlying emotional factors.

Increase Self-Love: Work on building your self-esteem and self-worth. Engage in self-care activities and surround yourself with a support system that values and uplifts you.

Healthy Relationships: Focus on cultivating healthy relationships with individuals who are emotionally available and share your desire for commitment and intimacy.

Set Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries for what you want and deserve in a relationship. Don’t settle for less than what makes you happy and fulfilled.


The pattern of desiring men who are taken or unavailable is a complex issue rooted in various emotional and psychological factors. While it can be challenging to break this pattern, it’s essential to recognize that it is possible to develop healthier and more fulfilling relationships. Through self-reflection, self-love, and seeking professional support when needed, you can shift your romantic preferences towards individuals who are emotionally available and capable of forming meaningful connections. Remember that you deserve a loving, respectful, and mutually fulfilling relationship.

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